Sunday, March 15, 2009

A cautionary tale for those seeking for the triple “L”


It’s been a long time since I have eaten watermelon with seeds. A few days ago, I bought one from a local fruit stall along the highway from Kampong Chhnang to Phnom Penh. From the look of it, you can tell that it’s organically grown, something which a lot of the Cambodian farmers still practise.

Today, while slicing up the melon, I couldn’t help but moan over the anticipation of picking out the small black seeds, one by one, and there must had been like over fifty or so. Thankfully, the melon was small, unlike those huge ones cultivated by farmers with the help of unnatural pesticides and fertilizers. The worst thing was, the more I slice, the more seeds I found on each cross-section where they were embedded deep inside the pinkish red juicy flesh.

When I began to tediously pop out each seed with a fork, inevitably wasting some juice along the way, a thought came to my mind. Going through all those seeds reminded me of how we often have to go through great pain in life before we can reap the benefits of it.

The organic melon is like love or relationship to me. In order for us to find true love or simply the right one, we often believe that we have to endure a long process of either waiting for something to happen, a difficult and emotionally draining courtship, distance when two people are apart and last but not least, ugly breakups that leave behind scars which remind us not to fall into the same trap again.

And so, some of us tend to approach the possibilities of having a relationship with someone whom we like with much caution. We are so scared and dubious about the person we like for so many reasons; their interest of us, intention, integrity, habits and ambitions, that we ponder, toss and turn in bed, analyze and occupy our minds planning for the next move.

People who are looking for Long Lasting Love (the triple “L”) believe that by taking out each seed of distrust, doubt, uncertainty, frustration, anxiety and pain will then secure us with the benefits of a healthy relationship.

I’ve been told that organic food is better for my health, but once in awhile, I do want to indulge in a piece of processed beef patty in the form of a cheese burger in fast food restaurants. Will I be happy if I stick to a strict regime of organic diet? No, I won’t because I won’t be living. If I don’t live in a country where organic food can be easily found and is cheap, I will be making my own life a misery. In this day and age when social opportunities are endless, it will be impractical and unrealistic for me to demand for organic food when dining with friends.

So for me, relationships are the same. Sometimes, we just need to let go whatever fear we have and adjust our expectations in order to find out what’s really important in our lives; depriving the possibilities of having a good laugh in TGIF, or hunting for organic food alone.

When eating seedless watermelons, I will still enjoy its sweet juicy taste without trying to think about how it will affect my health and the good thing is, I won’t choke on the seeds.


  1. Alternatively, you can swallow the seeds and let nature take its course?
    Ironically, you may ponder, analyze and dissect a relationship to death but you may still end up falling in love anyway. Love is like a siren, irresistible, makes you lose your senses until its too late.

  2. True, Ms. Kong Piang but that is if you really allow nature to take its course; i.e. you don't end up being obsessive about it but continue to live life as it is.

    But how wonderfully it is to be in love! Whether the feeling is reciprocal or not, it's still having a feeling. Nothing can be worst than your heart is dead.