Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Breakup

I was promiscuous, lackadaisical and non-committal. She was needy, pushy and manipulative.

I secretly think all she really cares about is money.

It wasn’t until a couple of months later from the day we first met that it became clear we had very different expectations. Our relationship was making me unhappy but I stayed on by holding her to her promise that she knew how to make a woman feels and looks good.

Needless to say, I subsequently took a distance from her. The phone calls kept coming and I began to lie. The excuses were always the same. I was busy and I would see her another time.

I suppose it was bound to happen although I didn’t think she saw it coming. She probably thought I didn’t have the galls but I finally pulled the plug and it’s over.

I am relieved.

The relationship started more than six years ago. I had received a birthday card with a gift voucher insert from my bank. It said in Calibri font-sized 11, as a valued customer, I was entitled to a spa treatment worth RM250.

It was irresistible and before I knew it, one thing had led to another.


Like most first dates, I was treated like a queen worthy of the best treatment. I was pampered and I left feeling good but not before being seduced into signing a contract for another six treatments at a discounted rate. I was told that the special rate would no longer be valid the day after, that I simply must seize this purportedly rare opportunity. Being a sucker for big discounts, I caved without knowing that it would become her regular pick-up line, usually right before my contract ended.

At this point, I should confess that the climax of our dates were good, just not the foreplay. All treatments were accompanied by the customary marketing pitch and they usually began as soon as I shut my eyes in a silent hope of a much needed 2-hour relaxation and quiet. The beauticians had a militant way about them. No matter what the condition of my skin was, there was always something to improve and they never fail to offer solutions. If only they could apply their resourcefulness on achieving world peace.

While she spoke of how treatment A would add benefit to treatment B and how treatment C would benefit more from treatment D, I would often let out an incoherent and non-committal grunt and willed her to stop.

I mentally listed the number of things I would tell her:

  1. I did not pay money to be harassed;
  2. You have no right to push your products on me without an invitation, not especially when I’m in that sacred horizontal position;
  3. You should stop playing elevator music because it shows a lack of taste and class;
  4. You should learn to tip-toe and whisper because silence is what I expect;
  5. If you value my patronage, just shut up and only do what I’ve paid you to do.

These thoughts were never shared as I feared that if I had unleashed them, we would end up in a war zone since I’m not the most diplomatic person in the world after all. She saw that weakness and used it to her advantage. I ended up signing for more treatments I didn’t care for. It was a huge price to pay just to avoid ugly confrontation and very bad services.

That was when the unhappiness began. I was often doused in shame and guilt for being a complete push-over. It came to a point when our meetings became something I dreaded.

Soon enough, I began to see other people. The temptation was way too much. With great discounts from a wide range of spas from Groupon, what is a girl to do?!

Unsurprisingly, they were usually the same. Thankfully, I had learned my lesson and was able to make it clear from the beginning that I am not the committing kind, especially if they’re the pushy and manipulative type.

After more than six years, I finally met the one. She is kind, not intrusive and respectful. She understands my needs and gives me what I want. We have real conversations. She talked about how she couldn’t wait to leave the establishment and she wants to make it on her own. She’ll be offering her services from her humble home she shares with her elderly parents. I like a girl with ambitions and I like the thought that she’ll be keeping the money I pay all to herself. She deserves it after all and she wouldn’t need to push so hard like the other girls.

So last week, I finally told her that I will be leaving the country in September. I won’t be seeing her anymore. The distance would make it impossible for me to commit. It was a lie but most breakups are never honest anyway.

From the look on her face, I could see she was unhappy. She tried her best to persuade me to make the most of my remaining stay by seeing her more often. I said no with a smug smile, secretly hoping that she knew I was lying.

Breakups are never easy but sometimes, a girl needs to learn how to say no. Politeness and civility are not an option, not especially when the lying starts.


  1. We have all been there, bought a jar of Yemeni honey for RM100 without knowing even if there honey in Yemen etc, good that you can say no.

  2. These people are like vultures really and we're such suckers. I've learned that saying no is not a shameful thing. I used to think that if I say no, I'll be seen as cheap. But now I know that the decision is mine to make. My money, my decision.

    So Yemeni honey is good?