Friday, March 20, 2009

What they know and we don’t


At the back of a mansion in an affluent neighbourhood, there is a private and secret gathering that takes place every week. The participants? Manja, Sheba, Tuxedo and Miu Miu. They all form the exclusive feline club of Casa Tropicana. Their meetings include weekly updates on  their latest accessories, imported gourmet snacks,  grooming experiences and last but not least their owner’s daily activities.

For many, such mundane and inconsequential discussions bear no significance except to maintain their elite status as privileged pets owned by  high ranking government official, successful businessman, famous singer and high profile lawyer. Nevertheless, what makes the meeting unique and potentially threatening is the classified nature of it. Only the privilege few can decipher their conversation and the only thing which could give these meetings any clout,  would be if by some freak chances, a highly intelligent homo sapien is able to finally break their secret codes.

Manja: Haji Said had a huge kenduri three nights ago. Wah! So many many guests but all of them have no class one. You won’t believe how common they look. Eating like there’s no tomorrow and shouting among themselves. One of the kids tried to touch me but you wouldn’t believe the smell of him. (Snort)

Sheba: Fishy? (Meows with delight)

Tuxedo: Was it one of those charity events he organizes every year?

Manja: Yes, but each year it gets worse. More and more people come and each time, they look poorer. Last year, he sembelih one cow. That night, two.

Miu Miu: Haji Said is just carrying out his kewajiban. Rich-rich people must show compassion to the poor, lah. How to set a good example if he’s a Haji? A well-off one some more.

Manja: I suppose you’re right. He is a very generous man. Just that day, he brought this young boy into the house. I was taking a nap. They woke me up when they entered the room and he allowed the boy to take a shower. They were in the bathroom for a long time. The boy probably needed a good scrub. You never know what sort of germs these people carry with them.

Sheba: Yes, I can’t agree more. It’s good that our owners insist the guests take shower whenever they come for a visit. One cannot groom too much. Yesterday night YB also made this woman cleaned herself in the bathroom. She needed it. She was heavily coated with bright coloured paint on her face like a siamang’s backside, I tell you. Her dress sense was a bit off too. Not like Datin’s elegant kurungs.

Tuxedo: Where was your Datin? She could have taught her how to be a lady.

Sheba: Datin is away on some trip with other datins. Anyway, when she’s away, all these women always come visiting. Maybe that’s why Datin goes away. I don’t think she will be able to stand the company of these women. Too cattish!

Tuxedo: If only some of these women would pay Nina a visit once in awhile. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. She also can teach them some fashion sense and how to walk like us.

(Manja and Miu Miu meowing at the same time.)

Manja: No one knows more about fashion than your Nina. She’s so beautiful as well. Mee-ow!

Tuxedo: And sings like a bird. I’m worried about her though. For the last few nights now, she has been drinking some kind of strange brownish looking juice. After awhile, she would carry me and then cry-cry. I hate it when those tears touch my coat. Once, she almost dropped me. I nearly claw that beautiful face of hers.

Sheba: Don’t be such a pussy, lah!

Miu Miu: Why is she crying, huh?

Tuxedo: Maybe she hates the drink.

Miu Miu: Then why is she drinking it?!  

Tuxedo: I have no idea. And then, sometimes she gets so frisky! She would throw, break, wallop and kick things in the house.

Manja: Maybe she’s in heat, kot?

Miu Miu: Speaking of in heat. Master and Mam are constantly at it. Nearly every night, Master would take her, pin her down and slap her about into submission. I don’t think she likes it very much. She would try to run away but he’s too big, twice her size! So noisy only!

A distant voice calling, “Manja! Where are you?”

And that is how the meeting adjourns as the feline club members scurry off before anyone could hear their weekly secret rendezvous.


  1. Showing your claws? To be fair, if they do not breach any of their political party's rules, all these acts of lechery and hypocritical conduct are just like a walk in the park.

  2. Yes, the thing is, many people know they can get away with it cause nobody is watching, nobody knows.

    And in Malaysia, as we know it, nothing will happen to you even if people know, especially if you're related to the PM.