A different kind of spirit and intoxication

These days, the right words used to describe me would be, zombie-fied and kelam-kabut.

In the last month, I have been completely engrossed in a project which has inevitably driven me to physical and mental exhaustion. Being sleep deprived, I have unwillingly arrived at work late in a dishevelled state. I’m almost always late for meetings held in-house and above all, I’ve committed one of the biggest and most embarrassing professional crime - giving the wrong name to a very important government minister while drafting a press statement!

I should be fired, but deep down I hope I won’t for two reasons. I’m psyched about what I’m doing and I’m driven by the pool of people working around this project.

A good marriage is really hard to come by these days but this article is not about marriage. It’s about team work and it’s as equally rare. Mom used to tell me this, “If you marry the right man, half of your life’s happiness is secured.”

In the context of a job, I would say that if you get to work with the right team, at least half of your day’s happiness is guaranteed. When combined together, I guess I’m a really happy woman despite the sleep deprivation and long hours of slogging.

Not too long ago, a fellow writer informed me that she doesn’t believe in Committee. She told me that it’s easier to get things done by herself. I do agree with her because there have been many occasions where I end up doing a job on my own simply because it takes too long to wait for others to act, especially if they are unreliable. Also, when there’s more than one person, it usually involves having more than one opinion and this means more time needed to take a collective decision.

In a marriage, it takes two to tango. In a team, it takes a whole troop to perform that awe-inspiring Shaolin acrobatic formation. All members need to lean on each other for support, be willing to take a fall and last but not least to sweat it out together so that their goals can be achieved.

However, these are not just the essential ingredients. It takes much more to become an exceptionally good team.

The spirit of team work was first introduced to me when I worked in Afghanistan. My wise Italian friend taught me the first lesson of being in a team: loyalty. Loyalty in his case does not mean to submit to one’s leader blindly and unequivocally. A team needs to be challenged. Otherwise, how would you know that it’s truly a good one when everything works like a bed of roses?

Loyalty here means to sort out disputes fairly and transparently, without backstabbing one another. If things get really difficult, you don’t just jump ship. You stay and work things out together.

I remember when I had just become the newest member of an electoral team in Bamyan, I did not appreciate our Coordinator. We had different working cultures which made it difficult for me to adapt.

Whenever I expressed my dissatisfaction towards the Coordinator, my Italian friend would remain impartial, refusing to partake in any of my personal observations. Instead, he would provide objective views and advised me to communicate my frustration to the Coordinator.

I find this to be a constructive and effective method of solving professional disagreement. If anything, it improves and builds working relationship because of better understanding through open communication.

Secondly, to be a truly good team, it goes beyond showing professional commitment. Since, we’re essentially human beings, we all come with emotional baggage. We all have needs to feel included, appreciated and respected. We don’t just value ourselves as a worker, but also a human being, deserving of respectful and dignified treatment.

Bamyan is one of the coldest districts in Afghanistan. During winter, the temperature often drops to minus 30 degrees celcius. Again, being new, I was unable to adapt to such harsh condition and subsequently fell ill with mild pneumonia. My colleagues quickly took to the task of nursing me back to health.

During this time, my health condition had been brought to the attention of those working in the headquarters. In order not to further jeopardise my health, decisions were quickly made to offer me a transfer to a warmer district in the East of Afghanistan. Resisting the tempting offer, I decided to stay on in Bamyan and it was the right decision I made.

I would eventually brave winter together with a group of colleagues whom by then had become friends. We would huddle together, all wrapped up in thick fleece jackets, scarves and mittens, sharing a simple meal while being fuelled by a solitary burner situated in the middle of a poorly equipped kitchen. Everything else was frozen in the kitchen but our spirits were kept sizzling hot by the solidarity we had for each other.

Last but not least, when the going gets really tough, good team members support each other despite the adversities and risks they have to take, even if it means compromising themselves.

After about six months in Bamyan, we had a shocking but pleasant surprise. A Japanese colleague of ours brought her baby boy from Japan to Bamyan. The whole adventure of how she managed to bring her baby there was a different story altogether. Suffice to say that her act was in breach of the United Nations’ employment contract. As an unaccompanied duty station, all staff were not allowed to bring their partners or children to Afghanistan, unless they were being employed by the UN or other organisations, in the case of their partners.

Being a single mother and combined with other undisclosed reasons, she had to bring her child there. We knew that it was not the best decision made, bringing a child to a war-zone country. However, we understood that whatever reason that had prompted her to do so must had been difficult and perhaps necessary.

In the end, what we did was to support her. We welcomed her baby into our humble home and treated him as if he was a part of the family. We were fully aware that if the baby was discovered by the UN authorities, we would all risk disciplinary action and our Japanese colleague, her job.

It hit upon us that it was difficult trying to conceal a baby in a small district like Bamyan. Eventually, our colleague had to pack her bag and leave the country but the memory of that moment we shared together will continue to stay with all of us for the rest of our lives.

Perhaps I would never get to experience such surreal circumstances again but I am fortunate enough to relive the joy of working in a team where all of us grow together and feed on each other’s enthusiasm, strength and encouragement to cross that finishing line.

The writer would like to dedicate this article to those working on the MyConstitution Campaign, as well as those who have been supportive and understanding of her during her moments of zombification and kelam-kabutness.

This article was first posted on The Malaysian Insider on 15 November 2009 under the same title.

Reconnecting with one's identity

The year was 1996.

I was 15 years younger and also 15kg lighter (if only they are both inversely related).

My only worries were passing my examinations and whether the boy whom I had a huge crush on would give me the time of the day. In my mind, we would have beautiful babies together.

The thought of returning home never occurred to me but it didn’t stop me from being an active member of the Malaysian Student Society. United Kingdom seemed far better off then.

Although it has been 15 years, I still think about the days when we, the Malaysian students, put up a swashbuckling performance at the annual Malaysian Evening gala. We did Malaysia proud by being hospitable, warm and friendly ambassadors. Our enthusiasm and solidarity were infectious and we built friendships that transcended ethnicity and religious affiliations through those years.

I miss the days when the Malay-Boys-Who-Can-Sing-And-Play-Music living downtown would invite my friend and me for home-cooked fish head curry. Apparently the fishmonger next door was selling the discarded heads for peanuts and like monkeys, we devoured every single morsel with much gusto and appreciation.

We also had a Malay friend who could measure the saltiness of his girlfriend’s satay sauce just by sniffing it. Hers was the best satay sauce I have ever tasted. To reciprocate, my friend and I would make popiah and to our great surprise, they were well-received.

I mustn’t forget our one and only Indian Malaysian student. He was known as the quiet and shy guy who was joined at the hip to two other Chinese Malaysian students. They were really nice because they never forgot my birthday when I was alone during Easter holidays.

That was the only time when I remembered being Malaysian.

Fifteen years later, I am older and the questions running through my mind are of a different nature.

Will my marriage survive? Will I become a mother? Have I done enough for my ageing parents? Will I be able to afford a vacation in the North Pole so that I can see the polar bears? Will I die for my country? Will Malaysia ever change?

At 35, I have become cynical and resentful of so many things in life. What is certain is that the years have served as a cruel reminder of how brutal time and poor eating habits can be.

Having worked and lived in four war-torn countries has somehow contributed a lot to my increasing lack of faith and respect for humankind. Although Malaysia is not at war, apathetic Malaysians combined with a morally corrupt government do very little to change my perception of human beings.

At the end of the day, I deduce we’re all just the same.

That changed on April 2, 2011 at Fort Cornwallis, Penang.

Perhaps it’s true that everything does happen for a reason. What made me leave my cushy life as an expatriate’s wife to accept the challenging task of helping Malaysians understand the Federal Constitution? I desperately needed to restore my faith as a Malaysian again.

The “Rock for Rights” concert organised by Bar Council’s MyConstitution Campaign, Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia and Frinjan on April 2 reminded me of the semangat Malaysia I felt 15 years ago, but only better as I didn’t have to be in a foreign land to feel that I belonged.

While working on this project, I got to know many Malaysians from very different walks of life and was privileged to learn from them. Many of them are either students or hold regular jobs such as teaching, marketing, public relations, writing, computer programming, event planning, environmentalist and lawyer.

Being an amateur who struggled to put together a concert, the bands and those involved were understanding, patient and forgiving. Many of them were just grateful that they had this rare opportunity to share their artistic talent as musicians. They are clearly no ordinary bands as they were not driven by monetary gain but only by their passion as musicians and being Malaysian.

I asked Darren Teh from An Honest Mistake why they had decided to participate in this project.

He replied: “We want to bring our music to the next level which is to cause change in someone’s life. Being part of this project helps us achieve that. When people listen to our song and know the reason behind the lyrics, it helps them connect with us ‘emotionally’. Besides that, knowing that we are adding value to the community, raising awareness of our rights and educating them through music — we are going beyond the boundaries of music, beyond just simple listening pleasure. We are proud to have been part of this entire project.”

I asked Petak Daud, an 18-year-old musician who stunned the crowd with his soft acoustic renditions of songs that speak loudly against the abuse of power by the police and government, what gave him the courage to sing such songs. He said: “The situation surrounding us is becoming worse. We’re like decomposing flesh which in a matter of time will disappear altogether. This is my mission. I want to wake Malaysians up so that they can see the abuse taking place in this country.”

If a seemingly shy 18-year-old boy who unwittingly scratches his head while he speaks on stage has the courage to sing such songs, why are most of us still keeping silent?

Azmyl Yunor has a theory — shopping malls and capitalism. According to him, Malaysia’s rapid economic growth over the last three decades has metamorphosised us from being Malaysians to creatures who are continuously motivated by economic gain above everything else. Before we can truly understand who we are as a nation, we occupy our time by shopping.

I told Azmyl that I was shocked by how passive the crowd was at Fort Cornwallis. While some of us cheered and danced to the music, many kept their seats warm by just watching without any expression on their faces. He smiled at my observation and shared his other theory of self-censorship.

Decades of living in a country where preventive laws and religious teachings are imposed have taught us that freedom of expression is vulgar and wrong. He said music is a form of escape. He wouldn’t be caught dead screaming on top of his lungs and rolling on the floor under normal circumstances.

The night was high when Barcode got everyone up to sing the “Negaraku”. I was exhilarated and I sang our anthem like how most kids would sing to Justin Bieber these days. And like the cool night breeze that provided us with much comfort, the affirmation that I love Malaysia came.

Ammar Khairi from Maharajah Commission shared similar sentiments. He said: “I sincerely hope that there will be many more patriotic souls in Malaysia as opposed to nationalists or, even worse, haters. The difference is, a patriotic person would give his heart and soul for the country and yet continually criticise for a better Malaysia, whereas nationalistic pride is nothing more than waving the flag and declaring your allegiance blindly and accepting everything that is told to you by the powers-that-be as the supreme truth.”

Later that night, the party continued. We, the Malaysians, shared and celebrated our identity by laughing and dancing the night away. Fellow columnist June Rubis, who had flown in all the way from Sarawak to be our emcee (and to be starved as she emceed for 12 hours straight), screamed on top of her lungs, “I love you, you and you!” She whispered to me and said she would do it all over again.

I stayed high for the next couple of days. Fifteen years is a long wait after all. 

The unsung heroes of Malaysia

Originally posted on The Malaysian Insider under the title “Reconnecting with one’s identity” on 24 April 2011.

The year was 1996.

I was 15 years younger and also 15kg lighter (if only they are both inversely related).

My only worries were to pass my examinations and for the boy whom I had a huge crush on to give me his time of the day. In my mind, we would have beautiful babies together.

The thought of returning home never occurred to me but it didn’t stop me from being an active member of the Malaysian Student Society. United Kingdom seemed far better off then.

Although it has been 15 years, I still think about the days when we, the Malaysian students, put up a swashbuckling performance at the annual Malaysian Evening gala. We did Malaysia proud by being hospitable, warm and friendly ambassadors. Our enthusiasm and solidarity were infectious and we built friendships that transcend ethnicity and religious affiliations through those years.

I miss the days when the Malay-Boys-Who-Can-Sing-And-Play-Music living downtown would invite my friend and I for home-cooked fish head curries. Apparently the fishmonger next door were selling the discarded heads for peanuts and like monkeys, we devoured every single morsel with much gusto and appreciation.

We also had a Malay friend who could measure the saltiness of his girlfriend’s satay sauce just by sniffing at it. Hers was the best satay sauce I have ever tasted. To reciprocate, my friend and I would make popiah and to our great surprise, they were well-received.

I mustn’t forget our one and only Indian Malaysian student. He was known as the quiet and shy guy who was joined at the hips by two other Chinese Malaysian students. They were really nice because they never forget to celebrate my birthday when I was alone during Easter holiday.

That was the only time when I remember being Malaysian.

15 years later, I am older and the questions running through my mind are of a different nature.

Would my marriage survive? Will I become a mother? Have I done enough for my ageing parents? Would I be able to afford a vacation in the North Pole so that I can see the polar bears? Would I die for my country? Would Malaysia ever change?

At 35, I have become cynical and resentful of so many things in life. What is certain is that the years gone by have served as a cruel reminder of how brutal time and poor eating habit can be.

Having worked and lived in four war-torn countries has somehow contributed a lot to my increasing lack of faith and respect for humankind. Although Malaysia is not at war, apathetic Malaysians combined with a morally corrupted government do very little to change my perception of human beings.

At the end of the day, I deduce we’re all just the same.

That changed on 2 April 2011 at Fort Cornwallis, Penang.

Perhaps it’s true that everything does happen for a reason. What happened for me was to leave my cushy life as an expatriate’s wife and to accept the challenging task of helping Malaysians understand the Federal Constitution. And the reason? I desperately needed to restore my faith as a Malaysian again.

The “Rock for Rights” concert organised by Bar Council’s MyConstitution Campaign, Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia and Frinjan on 2 April, reminded me of the semangat Malaysia I felt 15 years ago, but only better as I didn’t have to be in a foreign land to feel that I belong.

While working on this project, I got to know many Malaysians from very different walks of life and was privileged to learn from them. Many of them are either students or hold regular jobs such as teaching, marketing, public relations, writing, computer programming, event planning, environmentalist and lawyer.

Being an amateur who struggled to put together a concert, the bands and those involved were understanding, patient and forgiving. Many of them were just grateful that they had this rare opportunity to share their artistic talent as musicians and message as Malaysians. They are clearly no ordinary bands as they were not driven by monetary gain but only by their passion as musicians and Malaysians.

I asked Darren Teh from An Honest Mistake why they had decided to participate in this project.

He replied “We want to bring our music to the next level which is to cause change in someone’s life. Being part of this project helps us achieve that. When people listen to our song and knowing the reason behind the lyrics, it helps them connect with us ‘emotionally’. Besides that, knowing that we are adding value to the community, raising awareness of our rights and educating them through music – we are going beyond the boundaries of music, beyond just simple listening pleasure. We are proud to have been part of this entire project.”

I asked Petak Daud, an 18 year-old musician who stunned the crowd with his soft acoustic renditions of songs that speak loudly against the abuse of power by the police and government, what gave him the courage to sing such songs. He said, “The situation surrounding us is becoming worse. We’re like decomposing fleshes which in a matter of time will disappear altogether. This is my mission. I want to wake Malaysians up so that they can see the abuse taking place in this country.”

If a seemingly shy 18 year-old boy who unwittingly scratches his hair while he speaks on stage has the courage to sing such songs, why are most of us still keeping silent?

Azmyl Yunor has a theory – shopping malls and capitalism. According to him, Malaysia’s rapid economic growth over the last three decades has metamorphosised us from being Malaysians to creatures who are continuously motivated by economic gain above everything else. Before we could truly understand who we are as a nation, we occupy our time by shopping.

I told Azmyl that I was shocked by how passive the crowd was at Fort Cornwallis. While some of us cheered and danced to the music, many kept their seats warm by just watching without any expression on their faces. He smiled at my observation and shared his other theory of self-censorship.

Decades of living in a country where preventive laws and religious teachings are imposed have taught us that freedom of expression is vulgar and wrong. He said music is a form of escape. He wouldn’t be caught dead screaming on top of his lungs and rolling on the floor under normal circumstances.

The night was high when Barcode got everyone up to sing the Negaraku. I was exhilarated and I sang our anthem like how most kids would sing to Justin Bieber these days. And like the cool night breeze that provided us with much comfort, the affirmation that I love Malaysia came.

Ammar Khairi from Maharajah Commission shared similar sentiments. He said, “I sincerely hope that there will be many more patriotic souls in Malaysia as opposed to nationalists or even worse, haters. The difference is, a patriotic person would give out his heart and soul for the country and yet continually criticise constructively for a better Malaysia, whereas nationalistic pride is nothing more than waving the flag and declare your allegiance blindly and accepting everything that is told to you by the powers-that-be as the supreme truth.”

Later that night, the party continued. We, the Malaysians, shared and celebrated our identity by laughing and dancing the night away. Fellow columnist, June Rubis who flew in all the way from Sarawak to be our emcee (and to be starved as she emceed for 12 hours straight), screamed on top of her lungs, “I love you, you and you!” She whispered to me and said she would do it all over again.

I stayed high for the next couple of days. 15 years is a long wait after all.

Technorati Tags: Rock for Rights,Bar Council,MyConstitution Campaign,Frinjan,Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia,Azmyl Yunor,An Honest Mistake,Maharajah Commission,Petak Daud,Barcode,Fort Cornwallis,Penang,June Rubis

Rocking for rights

This was first posted at The Malaysian Insider under the title “The message is in the song” on 13 March 2011.

Bob Marley once sang these famous words:

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds

Have no fear for atomic energy

Cause none of them can stop the time

I wonder whether he was high on weed when he was writing those words. Whether he was or wasn’t, this song went on to become one of the most iconic songs for those who value freedom, particularly of the mind.

This article is about political expression in music. But before anyone jumps into conclusion that this is going to be an anti-government propaganda, here’s an interesting fact. Politics and music are not just about anti-establishment, anti-war or peaceful expression of protest against any form of government or political ideology. It can also be pro-establishment such as seen in the national anthem or patriotic songs.

So, if anyone starts criticising that music with political theme is evil, let’s be reminded that the Negaraku, which contains the lyrics Raja kita selamat bertakhta, is a song that all primary and secondary school students are compelled to sing first thing in the morning in schools.

I’ve always thought that political expression in music is a fairly recent phenomenon. When I think about music and politics, I usually picture half a million demonstrators gathered at Washington D.C and sang Give Peace a Chance by John Lennon in peaceful protest of the Vietnam War in 1969.

I was, of course proven wrong when I google searched and discovered that classical composers such as Beethoven, Verdi, Shostakovich, Stravinsky, just to name a few, have been known to compose music that had either abhorred foreign domination or venerated a particular regime. We, who live in this modern era, tend to identify more with singers and bands such as Bob Dylan, John Lennon, The Clash, U2, Rage Against the Machine, Bob Marley, Sex Pistols and many others when it comes to expressing political messages through music.

When it comes to spreading and sharing messages, nothing has been quite as effective as music, which explains why Christians still sing praises to God and the Taliban banned it in Afghanistan.

Music can either reinforce a message, or destroy it; depending on which side you’re looking from. After all, music is a manifestation of freedom and for some, this is something to be feared of.

In 1990, a non-profit and non-partisan organisation called Rock the Vote emerged in the United States of America to attract the seriously declining youth population to register as voters and to vote in the election. Its modus operandi is none other than music, popular culture and new technologies. The campaign was so successful that the percentage of registered young voters increased by 20% within 2 years since its inception. In 2004, more than 1.2 million youths registered as voters on its website. I believe wide participation by celebrity spokesperson such as Christina Aguilera, Robert Downey Jr., Leonardo DiCaprio and Justine Timberlake plays a part in making this campaign a major hit.

In 2004, rapper Sean “P Diddy” Combs, led a not-for-profit organisation called Citizen Change responsibled for the campaign called Vote or Die. In the 2004 US elections, the campaign attracted 20.9 million young voters from the age of 18 to 29; a staggering change from the 16.2 million young voters in 2000. This inevitably helped to raise the overall percentage of voters in America in 2004.

Today, I want to write about a somewhat similar campaign in Malaysia but without the violence. Nobody is going to die but hopefully many will start to vote.

I learn that there are 27 million Malaysians, 11 million voters, 4 million more eligible Malaysians who haven’t registered to vote. I also learn that we have a Federal Constitution that guarantees all of us rights, freedoms and a democratic system of government that answers to us. But the question is: how many Malaysians know this?

The information above can be found on the CD inlay of Radio Demokratika, a music album produced by the Bar Council’s MyConstitution Campaign in conjunction with its Elections and Democracy theme. Some of you may have seen the eye-catching pocket-sized booklets that contain a wealth of information pertaining to the Federal Constitution produced by the Campaign, but this music album has only been making its debut just recently.

Last Saturday, amidst a decent crowd of more than 200 people, the album was launched at Pekan Frinjan 18, a regular event organised by Frinjan at Dataran Shah Alam. Close to 100 copies of the album was sold within that couple of hours, especially after an electrifying live performances by some of the bands.

Radio Demokratika features 12 original songs written and performed by 12 local independent bands. I was told that names such as Azmyl Yunor, Carburetor Dung, amongst others, are infamous in the underground music scene and no strangers to many urban youths since more than two decades ago.

There are many strong qualities about this album. Apart from the obvious fact that the songs are mainly about the Federal Constitution and socio-political issues that concern Malaysian youths such as inter-racial relationships, freedom of expression and political responsibilities, it has huge potential to unite youths from all racial divide and in so doing, encourage them to play a role in making Malaysia a better place to live.

As I listen to the lyrics of one of the songs that goes like this:

We’ll be the change that our nation needs to see

We’ll turn the dream into reality to be

A land that’s peaceful and strong

Which fights for right against wrong

And all of its people united and free!

I’ve begun to realise that this is precisely what this Campaign has hoped for.

There is no doubt that this Campaign can never achieve the same kind of magnitude that Rock the Vote or Vote or Die have achieved but make no mistake that it has great potential, with your support.

There is nothing more refreshing than this campaign as you flip through the morning headlines that write about nothing but what Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat have or have not done. The Campaign does not speak about political parties but only political issues.

Mahatma Gandhi once said: "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."

I’ll say that the greatness of a truly democratic nation can be judged by how well we have emancipated ourselves from mental slavery.

Goodbye, 2010

This year has simply came and went in a wink of an eye. This must be how my cat, Obama aka Prootsie (see photo above) feels like. From the moment I signed on the job at the Bar Council in October 2009, days have been passing by at the speed of 1 cat year, especially during the night on every weekday. Waking up in the morning, cursing and wondering where the night had gone, seem to be a favourite 2010 past time (I bet that it’s so popular that it’ll be brought forward to 2011).

I’ve managed to keep myself extremely busy this year and I think I may have compensated for the period of time when I stayed idle from 2005-2008. This year has been indeed fruitful and well-lived. Any regrets? None whatsoever, except for not seizing enough moments, if there were any that went completely unnoticed.

Apart from managing the MyConstitution Campaign (if you haven’t heard of  this yet, this is your last chance to get involved in the biggest phenomenon to hit Malaysia since the government announced the 1Malaysia campaign. The MyConstitution Campaign is expected to wind down  after March 2011), I’ve been writing a lot for The Malaysian Insider and Loyar Burok.

Travelling used to be my most favourite thing to do but since work has been occupying most of my time and money has been rather tight this year, I have turned to writing as a source of inspiration and a form of meditation. This year, it has become my most favourite thing to do when I’m not coordinating events, attending an event, picking up boxes of Rakyat Guides booklets from Taman Ukay, Ulu Klang, or trying to comprehend what are the new amendments made to the Criminal Procedure Code (they’re not necessarily in that order).

Above: A sample of a MyConstitution Campaign Rakyat Guides booklet. The 6-panel cardboard paper is folded to form a small pocket-sized “Luxe Travel Guide”-like booklet slipped into a plastic cover that can be used as a self-defence weapon due to its sharp skin-grazing capabilities. I’ve got tonnes of scars on my hands as proof of this.

My second most favourite thing to do is photography. It was only this year when I first started using the manual mode of my Canon DSLR camera to take pictures. I must say that the results have been most gratifying. Not all the pictures I’ve taken are any good but I think there may be some that show potential (well, to me anyway and any bona fide photographer may disagree).

Here are some of my favourite photos:

Photos above:

1. At the Rally for Sanity, Gateway Arch, St. Louis, USA   2. At Arlington Cemetery, USA  3, 4 & 5. At the St. Louis Rams Vs. San Diego Charges game, Edward Jones Dome, St. Louis, USA   6. At Yogyakarta city, Indonesia    7. At Yogyakarta Market, Indonesia  8. At St. Louis Zoo, USA  9. At St. Louis Zoo, USA

This year has been special too because I was given the opportunity to travel to the United States of America for 6 weeks. Being selected for the Legislative Fellows Programme (LFP) under the American Council for Young Political had been surreal and I am grateful for such a priceless experience.

After working for more than a year in Malaysia, I’ve had a difficult time coming to terms with how messed up the country is.  I was utterly disappointed, demotivated and frustrated with the government, the public and private service sector and just basically the mentality of Malaysians in general. There were times when all I did was fight with almost anyone who could or would not do their jobs properly.

Being in America provided me with a breath of fresh air. I met many people who displayed good leadership and professionalism and I was inspired. I think I came home a different person. I became more eager to take on more leadership role and begin to think more deeply about starting a project on my own.

As a summary, here are some of my most and least favourite things in 2010.

Favourites:

1. MyConstitution Campaign

2. Writing

3. Photography

4. Loyar Burok

5. Friendships I’ve made through MyConstitution Campaign and LFP

Least favourites:

1. Weight gain

2. IKEA (am boycotting the world’s worst international franchise for their horrendous and appalling service)

3. Michael M (probably one of the most loathsome people I’ve met this decade)

4. Did not finish even a book

5. Not seeing more people

Biggest achievment:

1. Quit smoking since April 2010

Hopes for 2011:

1. Lose 17kg

2. Start my own project

3. Travel more (maybe to the North Pole, if I’m lucky)

4. Take better photos

5. Read more

6. Write better

7. See more people

8. Do something new and go crazy

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL and HELLO 2011.

Sex, drugs and HIV/AIDS

This article was first published in The Malaysian Insider on 9 November 2010. Below is the original version.

It was another quintessential night in Chow Kit; hot, humid, red and reeking with the thick smell of danger for those who would shun the district. Celeste, Joanna, Samantha and Lola lined the street of Lorong Haji Taib. In between small chats with each other, they call out indiscriminately to men walking by; teasing them unabashedly in their deep hoarse voices. For those who bother to play along, they are rewarded with flying kisses.

The night was slow but not devoid of excitement. Just as the night, they came slowly and quietly for them. They are ambushed by a group of uniformed policemen. Lola and Samantha manage to escape. Celeste and Joanna are quickly handcuffed and brought to the police station.

Less than 24 hours later, Celeste is released. Joanna? Dead. But not before being forced to perform sexual favours on the commanding officer while being restrained by his two subordinates. They eventually “finish” her off by applying multiple blows to her skull when she refuses to let them take her from behind.

Joanna never had a chance.

Celeste returns with a mission. She saw what they did to Joanna and vowed never to end up as another unclaimed corpse. She pleads with her friends to stand united and fight for their honour and lives. Together, they vow never to be silent again.

Celeste’s blood-chilling and piercing cry, “Joanna dah mati!” would echo in their minds forever.

It may not be as real as Poh Si Teng’s acclaimed documentary “Pecah Lobang”, a Freedom Film Fest winner in 2008, but that was the script used by the Bar Council MyConstitution Campaign team to send out a strong message to sex workers and Mak Nyahs at the Jom ke Chow Kit Carnival at Lorong Haji Taib on 31 July 2010.

Above: The MyConstitution Campaign team

It took the team a few days to put together the skit but not without first spending hours after hours debating and deciding on a suitable yet effective message. Most of the team members were lawyers but none of them knew what sort of message would make an impact on one of the oldest professions in the world.

Lawyers are useful when it comes to giving advice on what to do when one is being arrested but what can they tell a highly stigmatised community who not only are prime targets of the police and religious authorities, but also vulnerable to abuse and violence?

Joanna

That was when the team decided to tell the story of Joanna, a transsexual sex worker who died in police custody.

The message was simple. It is louder when four persons scream at the same time than just one. The chances of being heard are higher if you continue to scream. Sooner or later, someone will hear you.

The crowd responded. They laughed and cheered when they saw Celeste, Joanna, Samantha and Lola blowing kisses in the air. The atmosphere turned sombre and quiet when Joanna was being tortured by the officers. Some wore grave expressions on their faces as they watched Celeste bringing news of Joanna’s death and crying out in anguish. They clapped thunderously when the girls came together and agreed to do something about it.

The image of helpless Joanna being forced to face her opponents alone is more real than imagined. Most of us are aware of the discrimination and injustice faced by the community of sex workers, yet we choose to keep silent and stay ignorant of it. While we will readily acknowledge the right to live, life without dignity and justice is not a life worth living.

The organiser, the PT Foundation (PTF), is to be commended for providing an opportunity and platform for people living with HIV/AIDS, sex workers, drug abusers, men-who-have-sex-with-men (MSM), gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people to learn more about their rights and HIV/AIDS. Combating HIV/AIDS is after all one of the UN Millennium Development Goals.

According to the Ministry of Health’s statistics in 2009, there are 86,000 reported cases of HIV/AIDS in Malaysia. Everyday, 15 Malaysians are diagnosed HIV positive and the majority of them are men. 34% are in their twenties. The high-risk groups are surprisingly not sex workers, drug users or homosexuals. They are fishermen, factory workers, long distance drivers, housewives and heterosexuals.

Jeremy

Speaking to Jeremy provided a sense of comfort and assurance. He came across as someone who is wise and easy to talk to; and he is a gay man who occasionally also drags or crossdresses as a woman in special functions such as at the Jom ke Chow Kit Carnival.

Jeremy works towards educating and sensitising people on the importance of safe sex, sexuality and self-acceptance - all the right qualities to help fulfil PTF’s objectives.

I first spotted Jeremy when he was standing in front of the stage with a microphone in his hand. He was giving out a series of HIV/AIDS related trivia. It was difficult not to notice him as he was dressed in a black body-hugging t-shirt, hot pants, black stockings and Mary Jane shoes. In addition to his thick make-up, he was a picture of confidence and determination as he asked the crowd, “Can you get HIV/AIDS by holding someone’s hands?” while loud pumping techno beats were playing on the background.

Later in a private interview, Jeremy disclosed that he had come a long way before his family and friends accepted his sexuality. He was reluctant to call this episode in his life a problem but preferred to see it as a challenge instead. He added that at the end of the day, what’s really important is for a gay person to come to terms with his own sexuality, first. But it is important to take the time to figure out who he really is before arriving at that critical juncture.

When asked whether he faced any discrimination while growing up as a homosexual, he answered no. He explained that Malaysia is that sort of country where you would not get into trouble if you do not tell. An example is how PTF is not allowed to publicly inform people that they provide counselling to gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender (GLBT) people. They may only call it “sexuality counselling”.

He also said that while law enforcement authorities do not harass PTF directly, they face many obstacles when trying to implement their HIV/AIDS education and prevention programme for sex workers in massage parlours, karaoke lounges, motels and nightclubs. These places are raided by anti-vice enforcement officers and too often in the presence of PTF, which consequently prevents the businesses from wanting to engage with PTF.

When asked who his hero is, Jeremy declares that he is his own inspiration. His father once told him in an acceptance speech, “Whatever you do, you’re an adult now. You’re responsible for your own life.” He said that it is important for everyone to be themselves because in the end, it is up to each individual to find out who they are and to grow comfortably into their own shoes.

Eddie

Such positive self-image was unfortunately not seen in Eddie, a 39 year-old former drug user. He was seen sitting alone at the back of a tent, quietly colouring his face with bright blue paint.

When I asked him what he was doing at the Carnival, he insisted that I would not be able to stomach his answer. “If I tell you, you won’t be able to take it. So, I rather not say anything,” he said to me again and again and all the while avoiding eye contact.

After some coaxing, he revealed that he is HIV positive. He said most people who learned about his condition would run away. We ended up having a long chat about his life story.

According to Eddie, he started using drugs when he was 15-years old. His family moved to Kuala Lumpur from a small village in Negeri Sembilan. He experienced culture shock and was not able to adapt to city life. Due to existing family problems, he experimented with drugs and it subsequently became a means of escape for him.

He spent most of his adult life in and out of prison and rehabilitation in Sungai Buloh and Kajang. He still remembers starving in prison where inmates were under-fed and often resorted to eating left over fish bones and banana peels. When asked whether he was ever physically abused by prison guards, he replied, “Only if you disobey them. That’s all I’m willing to say.”

He said many inmates died in rehabilitation due to their weak and frail physical conditions, mostly pronounced by poor nutrition. Like him, most of them had no families or friends who would miss their absence. The moment they all discovered how low they had sunk, they would drop out of their lives.

Eddie added, “It hurts. It hurts greatly to see how they looked at me with disgust. Once when I came out of rehab, I had the will to turn over a new leaf. I really wanted to change my life. When I got home, my mother and sisters were busy cooking the whole day. Do you know why? They had planned to feed me well and then send me away for good. I never saw them again.”

When asked whether he is afraid of death, he paused briefly before admitting that he is more afraid of dying a painful death and being alone.

I asked him whether he ever regretted his actions that have led him to this situation, he answered bitterly, “Of course! Who would want to live like this? Because of my health condition and medical treatment, I’m feeling sick all the time. I can’t find work and I have no money or friends.”

Access to assistance

That night, 40 people were arrested by the police on their way to the Carnival which incidentally, was endorsed by the Ministry of Health. They were apparently tested for drugs. As fellow columnist, June Low wrote in her blog, thanks to the police, these 40 individuals missed out on a chance to learn more about the risk of HIV/AIDS.

There is something fundamentally wrong when people are being stopped from having access to help. It is morally sinful when people are being deprived of such an opportunity.

Is it because they are different? Is it because they are considered as moral pariahs?

It is time to ask ourselves these questions.

What makes these people different from us? What makes them so contemptible that we allow them to fight their battles alone? Does that not make us even more contemptible for not coming to their defence?

Finally, how many of us actually give ourselves to others without expecting anything in return; whether it is for love, sex, financial security, companionship, procreation or power?

Answer this truthfully and you’ll know that we are all the same in the end.

I asked Eddie what keeps him alive.

He replied, “What keeps me going is that every year I vow to change my life for the better. I vow to take my methadone and anti-retroviral treatments more diligently. I vow to secure a job to keep me financially independent. I’ll be 40 soon and I think there’s hope. After all, isn’t it true what the Western people say about life beginning at 40?”

The question is: will he live to see that change?

The Star: The citizen and the Constitution by Shaila Koshy

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=%2F2010%2F9%2F10%2Fnation%2F7012103&sec=nation

The MyConstitution campaign is to simplify the Constitution for all Malaysians, yet the only group to question the motive of this public service is a group of young graduates who formed a 1Malaysia club.

THERE’S a story former Lord President Tun Suffian Hashim liked to tell in relation to the Federal Constitution.

A law professor from the United States went to a famous bookstore in Kuala Lumpur to get a copy of the Constitution after having attended a lecture on it here.

He spent an awful long time searching; he even found some commentaries on it but not a single copy of the actual book was to be found.

The professor heads off to the chap at customer service: “Can you help me? I’ve been looking for the Constitution of Malaysia. I’ve searched under Statutes in the books section but I can’t find a copy.”

“Ah, that’s where you made your mistake sir,” the man tells the professor, “the Constitution has been amended so many times we now shelf it under Periodicals.”

It was funny when I heard it in 1990 and yet, not very funny too, taking into account some of the amendments that Parliament had made in the 1980s and would continue to make in the years to come.

You’d think a federal Constitution should be difficult to amend, that there should be some safeguards.

In 230 years of the constitutional history of the United States, less than 30 amendments have met the strict requirements of the amending process. In contrast, the Malaysian Constitution has been amended more than 40 times since Malaya obtained independence on Aug 31, 1957, that is, 53 years ago.

I’m sharing these oft-quoted facts here for the benefit of the 1Malaysia Graduates Youth Club in Serdang.

In a statement dated Sept 5, the club said they had lodged a police report against the Bar Council earlier that day for its MyConstitution campaign and distribution of the accompanying Rakyat Guide (RG) booklets that describe the Constitution in simple, layman terms.

Its secretary-general Ezaruddin Abd Rahman said they were concerned the RGs that were being distributed to the public and available over the Internet (www.perlembagaanku.com) touched on ways to amend the Constitution.

He was right when he said that the booklets entitled “MyConstitution” reveal a citizen’s rights (Articles 5-13), and somewhat right when he said the Constitution could be amended if one elected Members of Parliament who could enable amendments (because Article 159 states you would still need two-thirds of the total number of MPs).

But he lost me when he leaped from there to the RGs inciting hatred and feelings of being “anti” the Constitution and rejecting it as being irrelevant today. And the allegation of seditious tendency – I’m still waiting for the lightbulb moment.

If anyone took the time to read the booklets or attend the campaign forums and workshops, he/she would only come away with a better knowledge of their fundamental rights and understanding of what it means to be a citizen of Malaysia.

It is intended to promote love for the Constitution, not hatred.

The MyConstitution campaign was launched on Sept 13 last year to simplify the Constitution for all Malaysians, especially young Malaysians. It’s sheer irony that the only group to question the motive behind this public service and attack it is a group of young graduates who formed a 1Malaysia club three days earlier on Sept 10, 2009.

For the benefit of the club, the two-year long campaign driven by the council’s Consti Law Committee and the first RG booklet were launched not by any sinister foreign agent but none other than Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Liew Vui Keong.

In his speech, he had pointed out that the role of the citizen is the most important fact established by the Constitution: “Without the active knowledge and participation of citizens, our Constitution is an empty, meaningless and lifeless document.”

Liew said there was little point in calling ourselves a democratic nation if citizens did not appreciate and exercise their right to vote as guaranteed by the Constitution.

Noting the political upheaval and constitutional crisis after the March 8 general election had sparked interest in the Constitution, he urged the people to “go to the pond and drink the water themselves” and not base their views on what others said.

Since then, 90,000 booklets in English and Bahasa Malaysia have been distributed nationwide with the support of the Federal Government and in partnership with some state governments.

The club is right to be concerned for the Constitution but the object of its members’ target is misplaced.

In the small picture, many peninsular Malaysians will celebrate Malaysia Day on Thursday without even realising that the Constitution we have today only came into being on Sept 16, 1963, at the establishment of the Federation of Malaysia, and that the 1957 Constitution was that of the Federation of Malaya.

In the bigger picture, unless you know what the 1957 or even 1963 Constitution said, how do you know whether your elected representatives have upheld the integrity of the supreme law of the land or amended it for political expediency?

A campaign giving people knowledge and helping them to think for themselves is certainly not sedition.

Technorati Tags: Lord President Tun Suffian,MyConstitution Campaign,Rakyat Guides,Federal Constitution,Bar Council,Constitutional Law Committee,The Star,Sedition,Constitutional Amendments,Parliament

Malaysiakini: Bar defends 'seditious' MyConstitution campaign

http://m.malaysiakini.com/news/142185?1283867197

The federal government and several state governments have provided funding to the Bar Council MyConstitution campaign, according to co-deputy chairperson of the committee B Mahaletchumi.

"Although the campaign is largely funded by the Bar Council, we have received funding from the Malaysian public, the Prime Minister's Department, and the Sarawak, Kedah and Selangor state governments," Mahaletchumi said in a press conference at the Bar Council office in Kuala Lumpur today.

It was held in relation to a police report lodged by 1Malaysia Youth Graduands Club against the distribution of the brochures because they were alleged to contain seditious material against the federal constitution.

Its secretary-general Ezaruddin Abdul Rahman was quoted by Bernama as saying: "We also believe that the brochures were sponsored by an anti-government foreign non-governmental organisations."

Ezaruddin also claimed that said the brochures titled PerlembagaanKu (MyConstitution), claimed that the people could amend the federal constitution if they voted for members of Parliament who had the intention of doing so.

Mahaletchumi countered that amendments to the constitution is provided for in the constitution, which is where the information in the brochures comes from.

"The constitution has been amended 40 times. And there have been 650 individual amendments. So amendments are possible and have taken place before," she said.

Co-deputy chairperson Syahredzan Johan explained that the constitution can only be amended by a two-thirds majority in Parliament.

"Amendments can only be done by MPs. We are not MPs, so we cannot change it. This clearly shows that they (1Malaysia Youth Graduands Club) do not understand the constitution," Syahredzan said.

He also urged the club to come forward and seek clarification from the bar as they have clearly misunderstood the objective of the campaign.

"This is a campaign to educate the public so that they will appreciate the constitution, not to hate it. Where is the seditious content? When did we ever say we want to change the constitution?"

No ulterior motive

Bar Council president K Ragunath (right) voiced his disappointment because the campaign's objective is only to educate the public.

"The committee does not take a position but merely interprets the constitution so that the public can understand its content," he said.

Former Bar Council president Sulaiman Abdullah concurred and stressed that the committee does not have an ulterior motive.

"Our mission to demystify the constitution," he said.

90,000 booklets had been distributed nationwide and booklets in Mandarin and Tamil are expected to come out in October.

Five titles - 'What is the Federal Constitution?', 'Constitutional Institutions and the Separation of Powers', 'Federal- State Relationship', 'Parliament/Legislative' and 'Government/Executive' have been released since.

On Malaysia Day (Sept 16), the Bar Council will launch the sixth guide, which is on the judiciary, at Bangsar.

Senior members of each arm of government have graced the campaign, notably Dewan Rakyat Speaker Pandikar Amin Mulia (left); Chief Judge of Sabah and Sarawak Richard Malanjum; and Koh Tsu Koon, the Minister in the Prime Minister's Department in charge of integration and national unity.

The event was also launched by Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister's Department Liew Vui Keong on Nov 13 last year.

Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak is the patron to 1Malaysia Youth Graduands Club which was established on Nov 10 last year.

The Malaysian Insider: Bar Council’s resolve strengthened by accusations over MyConstitution campaign

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/bar-councils-resolve-strengthened-by-accusations-over-myconstitution-campaign/

KUALA LUMPUR, Sept 7 — The Bar Council said today it was determined to continue its MyConstitution campaign despite accusations by a Malay group that it was seditious.

The Bar Council said that instead of halting their efforts, the police report lodged by the 1 Malaysia Youth Graduands Club in Serdang two days ago has strengthened their resolve to reach all six million housing units in Malaysia through their MyConsitution campaign.

“It has strengthened the (Constitutional Law) Committee. They want to move forward,” Bar Council president Ragunath Kesavan told reporters today.

The 1 Malaysia Youth Graduands Club has called on the authorities to take immediate action against the campaigners for allegedly advocating the changing of provisions in the Federal Constitution, especially those touching on the special position of Malays and Islam.

Ragunath denied that the campaign was aimed at changing the Constitution, stressing instead that their objective was to increase public awareness and understanding of the Constitution.

“There are no seditious elements or any objective to amend the Constitution,” said Ragunath.

“We are disappointed that a campaign that was well-received by the Malaysian public and politicians across the political divide to enhance understanding of the Constitution was perceived as seditious,” he added.

Ragunath noted that some 90,000 booklets have been distributed nationwide to date since its launch on November 13 last year with the support of the federal government and in partnership with several state governments — including Sarawak, Selangor and Kedah.

He pointed out that senior members of each arm of government have graced the campaign, notably Dewan Rakyat Speaker Tan Sri Pandikar Amin Mulia; Chief Judge of Sabah and Sarawak Tan Sri Richard Malanjum; Tan Sri Koh Tsu Koon, the minister in the Prime Minister’s Department in charge of integration and national unity; and deputy minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Liew Vui Keong.

Ragunath also denied claims that their campaign, which has cost the Bar Council RM500,000 to date, was funded by foreign non-governmental organisations.

“This was financed wholly by the Bar Council. We have also received donations from the public, federal government and state governments (Kedah, Sarawak and Selangor) for this campaign,” said Ragunath.

Yesterday lawyer Edmund Bon, who heads the campaign, defended the contents of the booklets, explaining that they were written in a simplified form but were an accurate guide to the provisions of the highest law of the land.

Co-deputy chairman of the Bar Council’s Constitutional Law Committee Syahredzan Johan said the youth group’s police report showed that they were the “best target group” to reach out through the campaign as they seemed to lack understanding of the Constitution.

“Parliament can only amend the Constitution with a two-thirds majority,” said Syahredzan.

He also slammed the youth group for claiming that the campaign booklets on the Constitution were seditious.

“If it is seditious, then each textbook on the Constitution is seditious,” said the lawyer.

1 Malaysia Youth Graduands Club secretary-general Ezaruddin Abdul Rahman reportedly alleged that the booklets said people had the right to amend the Federal Constitution if they voted for members of parliament capable of doing so.

The other co-deputy chairman of the Constitutional Law Committee  Mahaletchumi Balakrishnan pointed out that Article 153 of the Constitution, which guarantees the special position of the Malays, cannot be amended even with a two-thirds majority in Parliament without consent from the Conference of Rulers.

She also highlighted the fact that more than 40 bills had been presented to the Parliament to amend the Constitution in the past 53 years containing a total of 650 individual amendments.

“The campaign is non-partisan,” said Mahaletchumi, adding that the committee’s focus was to educate the public on the basics of the Constitution without adding their own opinions on certain provisions of the Constitution.

She also said that the committee would launch their next booklet on the judiciary on September 16, besides launching Mandarin and Tamil editions of the booklets in October.

Ragunath noted that although the campaign began in Kuala Lumpur, they have since spread their message to small towns like Alor Star in Kedah, as well as rural areas in Sabah and Sarawak, including an Orang Asli settlement in Tapah, Perak.

Technorati Tags: Bar Council,Constitutional Law Committee,Kelab Graduan Belia 1Malaysia,Sedition,Article 153,Federal Constitution,Orang Asli,Tapah,MyConstitution Campaign

After 53 years of independence, there are Malaysians who still do not understand what democracy means.

Any Malaysian who thinks we have it all or have many things to be proud of must be in deep slumber under the coconut shells. If you don’t believe me, read the news below from Bernama taken from The Malaysian Insider.

Is any of our leaders going to say something about this? Anyone?

SERDANG, Sept 5 — The 1Malaysia Youth Graduands Club (Kelab Belia Graduan 1Malaysia) today lodged a police report over the distribution of brochures said to contain seditious words against the Federal Constitution.

Its secretary-general Ezaruddin Abdul Rahman said the brochures titled “Perlembagaanku” (My Constitution), claimed that the people had the right to amend the Federal Constitution if they voted for members of parliament capable of doing so.

“We were made to understand that the brochures were being distributed in several institutions of higher learning in the Klang Valley and some colleges in Kedah.

“We also believe that the brochures were sponsored by an anti-government foreign non-governmental organisation,” he told reporters after lodging the report at the Serdang police station.

He called on the police and government to take immediate action on the matter as continuous distribution of the brochures could influence the minds of the younger generation.

Ezaruddin also asked the police to probe into the sale of a book titled “The March to Putrajaya - Malaysia’s New Era Is At Hand” authored by Kim Quek.

“We want the Home Ministry to revoke the sale of such a book, which we deem as rubbish because it contains personal attacks and defamation of the country’s leaders, besides touching on racial issues,” he said.

He also believed that the 361-page book had been in the market for quite some time. — Bernama

Technorati Tags: MyConstitution Campaign,Federal Constitution,Democracy,The March to Putrajaya,Kim Quek,1Malaysia Youth Graduands Club