This is a new series chronicling my journey towards looking fab by the end of 2011 (well, preferably before the year ends but who am I kidding, right?).
I was uncertain whether I should even blog about this but as an afterthought, if it’s going to humiliate me into achieving my resolution, why not?
Life has been rather wonderful for the year that is 2010. I’m working on an exciting project, I’ve been writing regularly, I’ve got a husband who finally took to keeping things clean in the house and feeding me well (maybe a bit too well) and above all, I’ve got a beautiful and lovely cat that keeps growing on me.
It would look as if life couldn’t get any better, right? Well, nuh-ah - WRONG!
Everything seems well except for my weight that is intent on making my life miserable and I’m not just talking about me being vain. I’m talking about me being utterly uncomfortable with my body weight and losing my self-esteem as a result of it. I have refused dinner invitations from friends whom I haven’t met awhile because I am too ashamed to meet them. I can’t bend over to tie my shoe laces because my belly gets in the way. I am also getting his horrible image of me not waking up in the morning because my heart has been working overtime without receiving any gratitude or TLC and finally decides to give up on me. Only by then, everything would be too late.
So, why this resolution? Seems a bit too cliché and fluff, no? This is the sad part. I can do the whole giving up smoking and I’m pretty sure I can do the giving up drinking as well. But, giving up oily, deep fried and fatty food, consisting of all sorts of chemical, sugar, salt and other poisons that make them taste soooo good is going to be the toughest thing I would ever have to do. Damn those skinny chicks who can eat whatever they want!
My weight has fluctuated so much over the past few years. My fittest form was when I was in secondary school while I was doing ballet as a serious form of extra-curricular activity, my university years when I would frequent the local student union disco nights at least twice a week and dance all the English custard off and of course when I was starved in countries like Timor Leste and Afghanistan. I weighed around 50 – 55 kg then. Now, I must weigh more than
65 77 kg (I finally weighed myself at the strike of 12am on 1 Jan 2011) as I haven’t been able to weigh myself for fear I’ll keel over from fright and die before I get to fit into a respectable dress size again.
So, moment of desperation calls for desperate measure. Two friends of mine, E, V and I have decided to have a pact. We’re going to try to lose 1 kg for each month of 2011. We’ll be monitoring our weight and the person who does not stick to the bargain for that month will pay RM50. Seeing how stingy I am, I think it’ll motivate me unless I get really depressed and start going on a junk binge and adopt a to- hell-with-life attitude.
I don’t know how I’m going to do this because I’m feeling hungry again. Would I be able to resist the temptation of eating my favourite fast food of all time? As my friend V would say, “That’s your internal problem. We’re not interested about how each of us do this or what kinda problems we have. We’re only concerned about the result, ok?” Yeah, so much for moral support, pal.
So if you’re a friend, I beg of you not to be polite to me about my weight. Be tough and yet encouraging and supportive of my 2011’s resolution so that I can be phat again!
The next time I blog about this, let’s hope I am not RM50 poorer.